The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: Wedding Clichés

If you are a fan of How I Met Your Mother, you’ve probably seen the episode where Lily and Marshall plan their wedding and they reveal a list of wedding clichés that they won’t do. We would like our wedding to be trimmed of some wedding clichés. In this article, I have compiled a list of classic wedding clichés. Some are just overdone and some are just plain awful.

Wedding Cliché #1: You’re glowing, literally.

Ladies, when you’ve been pale in every other situation in your life other than your wedding, it looks fake. That “beachy glow” you got from a spray can and a few hours trapped in a microwave looks weird. I would like Cody to recognize me when I walk down the aisle. I don’t want him to think, “Who is that?”

Wedding Cliché #2: Your hair makes you look like an alien.

When your head of hair gets so top-heavy, you can’t keep it up, that’s a problem. Brides start to look like Marie Antoinette. During your wedding day, you should look like the best possible you and not a Tim Burton creation.

Wedding Cliché #3: One more time with feeling.

Oh, Pachelbel’s Canon in D & Wagner’s Wedding March. It is just a bit overdone. I would find those songs appropriate in a huge lavish wedding. Our little wedding, no. We are looking to give off more of a casual vibe to our wedding. So, we are ditching the stuffy marches.  Since, I am such a huge 80s movie fan, I am thinking St. Elmo’s Fire’s Love Theme.

Wedding Cliché #4: I wonder what they will read.

Corinthians is overdone, no surprise there.

Wedding Cliché #5: 1, 2, 3! JUMP!

Oh, those awful wedding picture clichés. It is a classic. Nothing says classy like a duckfaced bride. It is truly beautiful. One of my favorites is a bride standing alone looking at herself in the mirror or groomsmen with flasks, classy. The worst is the black and white photos with the random pop of color. It looks so natural.

Wedding Cliché #6: If you clang your glass one more time….

As comical it is to watch the drunk guy start the clanging of the glasses, it gets a little old. But I suppose it isn’t a heart-ship to give your sweetie a kiss to humor the crowd.

Wedding Cliché #7: How low can I go? Not far.

The following line dances will not be welcomed at our wedding:

a. The Electric Slide
b. The Cha Cha Slide
c. The Macarena
d. The Chicken Dance
e. The Congo Line
f. The YMCA

Wedding Cliché #8: The Do Not Play List

  • “Every Breath You Take – Police (Unless you’re marrying your creepy stalker, this is not a romantic song!)
  • I will Always Love You – Dolly Parton/ Whitney Houston (It’s about a break up. Please, no talk of “bittersweet memories” at your wedding.)
  • Lips of an Angel – Hinder (The angel’s great lips are enough to make him think about cheating on his girlfriend).
  • My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion (She’s singing the song to her dead boyfriend. Dead and weddings don’t mix that well.)
  • Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton (Yet another death song I’ve heard at too many weddings. I know there’s the life insurance policy, but it’s a little too early to be talking about death, don’t you think?)
  • I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor. (Not only have I heard this at a million weddings, but I’ve also seen it on lists of “popular wedding songs!” People, it’s a song about surviving a horrible breakup! Don’t play this at your wedding.)
  • Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield (Go ahead. Fuel rumors that the bride is sleeping/has slept/will sleep with the Best Man.)
  • White Wedding – Billy Idol (Idol himself says that the song is about hating his sister’s fiancé.)” -Via: Wedding Receptions – The Do Not Play List

Wedding Cliché #9: Cake smashed face.

I think it is about time that the cake in face bit to retire. I believe it is a bit juvenile. It makes me cringe. I heard that couples that do this are more likely to get divorced. I am not sure about that, but I am sure it would be a rocky start if both parties didn’t agree on the matter and it still happened.

Wedding Cliché #10: Catching the bouquet & garter

I believe both practices demean women. Done.

Overall, I believe clichés can lead to predictability and a forgettable wedding. Great creative and think of new ways to make your wedding something your guests will remember.

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